Friday, September 30, 2011

In Case #2 Happens, I Choose Option b.

(My brother insists that in my last post I made it sound as if he were a girl. He says that just because I said that I didn't want to be the only girl at practice if he didn't go. I ensure you, that was NOT what I meant! What I really meant to say was that I didn't want to be the only girl there if my brother didn't go. But if he went I wouldn't mind being the only girl. See! I just wanted to clarify that.)

I was just sitting here brainstorming about what to write. I've been in the middle of a brain lull.
As I sat here thinking, the answer fell right into my lap (well, not literally). I heard a loud, shrill, whistle. It was coming from outside. No, I didn't ask myself, "What is that?" Why? Because I already knew what it was.

Here in Toluca you hear that noise every night. And what is it? Well, it's a policeman on a bicycle. See, for "security" they send a policeman  through the neighborhoods in the dead of night. It can be very disturbing if you are in the midst of having a nightmare and suddenly that noise wakens you.
These policemen, for some bizarre reason, carry a whistle with them. And as they ride through the streets on their pedal-driven vehicles they blast air into their whistles, which creates a high-pitched screeching sound.
And it wakes up the whole slew of guard dogs who are supposed to be patrolling around their houses, but are snoozing their lives away instead. SIGH!

I have two questions.
#1. How do they expect to sneak up on criminals if they are announcing their arrival?

#2. If somehow they do manage to "sneak" up on some evil people in the midst of heinous crimes, how do they suppose they are going to actually stop them?

All they carry for protection is a baton (billy stick, billy club).
Imagine, if you have an imagination, coming upon some people in the middle of robbing a house. They don't see you. Miraculously, they didn't hear that loud whistle you were blowing into. And so you inch closer and closer on your bike, all the while praying to the Virgin Mary that your bike doesn't squeak and reveal your presence (if you're a Mexican cop you will most likely be Catholic).

As you get nearer you see that these robbers are sporting shiny, black pistols. The realization suddenly dawns on you that not only are you outnumbered but that you also only have a puny stick with which to protect yourself. Suddenly, your foot slips off the pedal and scrapes across the pavement. Oops. Then you cross yourself and began really praying, " ... Holy Mary, Mother of God, Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen."

The thieves look around, searching the black night for any sign of movement. You try to keep as still as you can. Before you know it the burglars decide that the noise is unimportant, and they continue throwing all their stolen goods into the back of their black, Chevrolet van. Well, you high-tail it out of there, and if you had a tail you'd be tucking it between your legs.

Okay, now do you understand my concern? I mean, we live in a dangerous, ghetto neighborhood (we frequently hear gunshots).

Now it's time to read the conclusion I have come to concerning this matter.
 If one of these policemen happens upon a crime in action, he most likely will:
1. Act like he doesn't see it and be on his way.
2. Approach the evil-doers.
In which case the cop will either:
a. Get himself killed or severly injured.
b. will ask for money for a soda or some tacos.

And that, my friends, is why we NEVER open the door when a cop knocks to ask for money.


I hope you all enjoyed this post (now do you understand my title?)!

Over and out!

P.S. In case you didn't get the "ask for money for a soda or some tacos" part. That's just the nice way of asking for a bribe. You know, give me a little bit of moolah and I will leave you alone.  :D


Marissa said...

Hahaa!! This part really made me laugh!!:
"all the while praying to the Virgin Mary that your bike doesn't squeak and reveal your presence (if you're a Mexican cop you will most likely be Catholic)."

Dacia Loa said...

Thank you!!! That was my favorite part! Hehe! :)